CALL ME CHEESY BUT THIS SHIT IS REAL OK?!
Four years ago, I asked God for an education that would help me grow in my understanding of how to love God and people well. I had no idea how much pain, joy, discomfort, comfort, surrender, and victory I would experience as a result of this request. When I look back on my time at Biola, I see four years riddled with paradoxes. Through chapels, conferences, and conversations with faculty, I realized both my depravity and my infinite worth as a child of God. Through late nights, daunting art projects, and countless Torrey discussions, I realized my creative and intellectual limitations as well as how to surrender control to the Holy Spirit. During ICS and sociology classes, I learned about other cultures, travelled to inner city areas, and realized that my perspective is just one small piece of the human experience, but that each piece is valuable. I experienced the symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder more deeply than I ever had, but with the help of friends, I chose life and found it to be more abundant and beautiful than it seemed before.
Through these paradoxical experiences, I learned how to love, but not in the way I imagined. I learned how to love by learning how to accept love. Prior to Biola, I did not know how to convey the depth of God’s love to others because I did not know the depth of his love for me. During these past four years, however, I began to realize how much I mean to Him: when I was weak, He made me strong. When I felt foolish, He gave me wisdom. When I thought I was not worthy, he made me worthy. It took so long for me to understand how utterly loved I am, but I understand! I know His love in my intellectual life, emotional life, creative life, spiritual life, and physical life. I know His love in my work and in my rest, in my accomplishments and failed attempts. I am sure I will continue to uncover the depths of His love for me - for all of us - for the rest of my life, and never reach the bottom of it. And I know that this is why He brought me to Biola. He knew that here, more than any place I’d been before, I would find His love for me.